Monday – January 30th: Today’s history reveals nothing spectacular that is worth celebrating. Other than the birth of Dick Cheney (you know…the guy who “accidentally” shot his fellow hunter in the rear end), there is NO significant occasion! You know what this means…this is your time to shine and make the history books! What do you have to offer?
Tuesday – January 31st: I had to slap myself a couple of times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming when I read this, but that hurt – so I stopped. Do any of you recall a Disney movie titled “Rocket Man” – about a chimpanzee sent into outer space? Ok, I’m not the only one who thought that Disney movies were more so fairy tales. In 1961, the U.S. launched a test mission involving a chimpanzee to travel outer space, clearing the path for the 1969 moon landing. So cheers to Ham, the Astrochimp that successfully traveled space and returned home safely! We owe you one!
Wednesday – February 1st: On this day Harry Truman signed a bill proclaiming the first day of February as National Freedom Day, a day that honors Abraham Lincoln’s signing of the 13th Amendment, outlawing slavery. For this, we raise our glasses for the promotion of good feelings and harmony!
Thursday – February 2nd: Oh, Punxsutawney Phil, how your actions singlehandedly have the power to control the wardrobe selection for so many, while you also impinge on my vacation planning. What’s the forecast for this year Phil? Let me guess, six more weeks of winter? Why don’t you throw a curve ball this year Phil, come out and grab a drink with us all and we’ll celebrate the closure of our heat bills and the back pains from shoveling our driveways.
Friday – February 3rd: On this day, the music died. Three pioneers, that included Buddy Holly, were killed in a plane crash marking it the greatest tragedy rock and roll has suffered. So, if you’re the jukebox hero at a bar tonight, be sure to play Don McLean’s “The Day the Music Died”, raise your glass, and propose a toast for these pioneers of rock and roll.
Saturday February 4th: Can you believe that you’ve been on Facebook for 8 years? Yeah that’s right, 8 years ago you’ve deleted your MySpace accounts, stalked your friends-friends, and posted pictures of you posing in front of mirrors. But none of us are complaining. So cheers to you Zuckerberg, for since 2004 you’ve given millions an excuse to look at our phones whenever we are in awkward situations.
Sunday February 5th: The day has arrived in America when everybody stops what they are doing, prepares guacamole dip, eats ten pounds of chicken wings, and then has the audacity to call in sick for work on Monday. It’s the biggest sporting event of the year and is proven to top the charts again. And who knows, maybe (just maybe) the guys from the Budweiser commercial will make an infamous return asking the question that is on everybody’s mind…”WASSSSUPPPP?!?!”
